


Always

by BiUnicorn



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Post 4x22, They talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:12:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18913945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiUnicorn/pseuds/BiUnicorn
Summary: It would be a lie to say that Lena wasn’t hurt by the truth."Kara Danvers is Supergirl. I'm about to die, but at least I lived without ever being a fool. You will be left with no one, and nothing."or...Lena finds out and she's very upset with Kara.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> hi folks!
> 
> I'm still shocked! 
> 
> Not beta'd, all mistakes are mine

 

It would be a lie to say that Lena wasn’t hurt by the truth. It was supposed to be her moment of victory, to end Lex and have the pleasure of looking into his face at the final moment. Of course Lena wanted to never need to kill Lex, but it was she or him, it was her friends or him. Of course, Lex still had one last card up his sleeve to destroy Lena. By picking up the remote control and turning on the monitors behind him, showing Lena’s best friend's recordings, distorting the truth in an sick way, trying to manipulate and drive her insane. Of course Lex would do something like this before he died.

"Your friends have been lying to you from the start..." Lex said breathlessly, enjoying his last moment of glory. "Your boyfriend, Jimmy... Alex, J'onn..."

Lena could barely process such information in front of her, Lex's words as images of Kara - no, Supergirl -, using her powers, behind a pair of glasses and an infinity of different cardigans.

"It’s been standing right in front of you all this time, and you chose not to see it..."

Lena shivered, panicking, as Lex gave his final sentence:

"Kara Danvers is Supergirl. I'm about to die, but at least I lived without ever being a fool. You will be left with no one, and nothing."

When life left Lex's body, Lena could only face the monitors, desperate. Kara Danvers is Supergirl and has been lying all this time. All her friends have been lying. For a moment Lena wanted to explode, thought she was going crazy, just like her brother. Leaving Lex's hiding place, running and crying, feeling the lack of air in her lungs, Lena realized that this was Lex's plan: to destroy her, emotionally.

As she stopped running, Lena dropped to her knees on the floor, crying freely with the truth, cruelly exposed. But Lena would not become what Lex was, driven by hatred. She couldn’t go crazy like her brother, maybe it was in her genes, but she wouldn’t allow herself to continue the Lex Luthor saga. After all, it was Kara Danvers that all this was about. Kara Danvers, or Supergirl, the one who saved her countless times, the one who - now that Lena had stopped to think - had not abandoned her under any circumstances, even with the Harun-El fight. Kara never left her side.

Should Lena give Kara a chance to explain herself? Should Lena listen to Kara?

With these two questions hammering her head, Lena returned to L-Corp and then went to her own apartment, receiving a message from Kara, an invitation to a celebration.

Lena entered her apartment, tired, determined to decide whether to give Kara and her friends one more chance. She went to J'onn's house, determined to try, expecting some initiative from Kara, perhaps.

"You're with me, right?" Kara asked, enthusiastically, not realizing that her question went far beyond the game, it was something more complex than that.

Lena sat down next to J'onn, smiling.

"Always."

-

Kara took no initiative that evening or the next day or the day after. 

Lena was losing hope.

Lena was determined to drink until she forgot, until she became cold enough to cut off Kara and her friends from her life. The picture frame on her desk had shattered with the impact of her Whiskey cup on the photo. The truth was cruel and bitter, maybe Lex was right and everything was a joke on her.

Lena got up and stared at the window, watching the city, perceiving a blue and red blur nearby. Seconds later, Lena realized she wasn’t alone in her office, visualizing Kara through the reflection of the window. 

"I was giving up on waiting for your visit, Kara." Lena said coldly.

Kara frowned. The next moment, Lena turned to face Kara, meticulously. Kara seemed to shrink as she became the target of Lena's gaze, but she pulled herself together and stepped into Lena's office, closing the door behind her.

"I need to tell you something..." Kara said, and Lena's eyebrow arched, intimidating.

"I'm all ears." Lena sat on her leather couch, followed by Kara, who was visibly nervous, and something else. Lena recognized sadness from afar and, for a moment, she felt empathy for Kara.

"I... I need to contextualize something before..." Kara played with her fingers in her lap, nervous. "I never thought I could have a friendship as strong as my relationship with Alex. She was the person who welcomed me when I had nothing, and I will always be grateful to her, but then I met you. You were the only person with whom I could be myself, without pressure, without expecting anything from me other than my friendship. And I feel like I've failed you, Lena. In so many ways, and what I'm going to say is not easy, but you deserve to know the truth."

Lena stood motionless, watching Kara but without expressing any emotion. Kara was more nervous than before. 

"I tried to tell you before, so many times, but the fear paralyzed me. My own selfishness paralyzed me, my fear of you hating me, as some people hinted, paralyzed me." Lena settled on the couch and Kara moved her shaking hands to her glasses, taking a deep breath and pulling it off her face. Lena remained motionless.

"Lena... My name is Kara Zor-El, I was born in Krypton and came to Earth when my planet exploded, I'm Supergirl."

Kara stared at Lena for a few seconds, petrified and confused by the icy glare Lena had over her.

"Lex was right, after all.” Lena murmured, standing up, unable to keep staring into Kara's eyes, which was paralyzed on the couch, her eyes wide, a pure fear emblazoned on them.

"W... What did he... did he tell you?" Kara sighed, letting her hands fall to her side, on the couch.

"I still hoped he'd come up with all that stuff, changed those shots, and done everything he could to play with me..." Lena took the remote control from her desk and turned on the TV into the wall, playing the same video Lex had shown. Kara stood up, shaking.

"Lena, I..."

"They say a picture is worth a thousand words, Kara. You have a myriad of videos." Lena turned off the monitor then stared at Kara as tears streamed down her face. "This whole time, it was right in front of me..."

"You shouldn’t find out like that, Lena." Kara said, her lower lip trembling and her face red, fear visible in her eyes.

"I agree. I thought my best friend would have the decency to tell me before I could find out Lex's twisted way. And I can’t help but think of his words, I can not help but think that this whole time you and everyone around me have been betraying my confidence and laughing at my face, laughing at all this humiliation."

"Lena, I would never do that!" Kara tried to intervene, feeling the need to explain everything at once. "I said I was being selfish and fearful, I never..."

"I'm not going to follow in Lex's footsteps. I'm not going to lose my mind about it, Kara, Supergirl." Lena wiped the tears on her own face, barely able to handle the pain she was feeling at that moment, it was worse than anticipated. She thought she could deal with Kara and forgive, but it was harder than she imagined. "I'm not going to lose my mind, but I can’t deal with you now, Kara. Go away, if my friendship ever meant anything to you, respect my request."

Kara nodded in silence, only turning to Lena as she reached the office door, her face completely wet with tears.

"I'm sorry, Lena. I never meant to hurt you.”

-

“God, she hates me" Kara sobbed in Alex's arms on the couch, at her apartment. Alex's maternal instincts came to the surface and the woman stroked Kara's hair, trying to comfort her.

"I'm sure she doesn’t hate you, she's just upset."

"You should have seen her face, she was so hurt, I could see!" Kara turned away from Alex, her face red, sadness stamped in your eyes. "And I don’t blame her, I should have told her before, at least before Lex..."

"Give her time... Sooner or later she'll reach for you... And you'll get a chance to explain to her your motives, your side of story."

"I don’t think she's going to give in... She was so furious, so hurt, and that's my fault."

Alex caught Kara's shoulders.

"Listen, Lena may be a tough person, but she's a good person, you taught me that, Kara. She'll give in... And you can’t blame yourself for everything, Lex has a huge chunk of guilt, Lillian also has. Me and J'onn are included in this, we have kept you from telling the truth countless times. And you've been through so much, Kara... you're a victim too. Not everything is your fault."

-

Kara doesn’t know how she survived the first week without any word from Lena. Kara doesn’t know how she was surviving overall that week. After Alex left her apartment, Kara locked herself and lay on the bed, determined not to get up so early.

Now that she had finally stopped to think about the last few weeks, in the last few months, Kara allowed herself to cry over everything, especially for Lena and the death of her clone. God, Kara knew there was something good about Red Daughter, even deep down, even after dying in her hands and reliving soon after. She had been betrayed, manipulated, and used for Lex's nefarious motives. Kara couldn’t help thinking of Lena, being manipulated and betrayed the same way by her brother. Kara couldn’t help but think of the moment she herself suspected of Lena and hoped she wouldn’t have to confront her, when in fact she was using her friendship to keep an eye on Lena. But it was before, it was before Kara realized that Lena was not like Lex, before realizing that she trusted Lena with all her strength, before realizing that she loved Lena. There was suspicion and fear about kryptonite, but how many times had Lena proved to care about her? Building a new armor, saving her when the atmosphere had been infected with kryptonite. Kara would never forgive herself for doubting Lena. She would never forgive herself for hurting Lena.

Before she could tell, days and nights had passed, and days had become one week, followed by another. She had left her apartment a few times on mission as Supergirl, but only to return to the dark of her apartment. Alex visited her daily, only to find traces of food that she carried to Kara, which were left behind after barely being touched. Alex tried to talk to Kara, but it was useless, Kara was badly shaken by her own achievements and the memories of her clone, which migrated to Kara. God, Kara was trying to get better. Kara was trying to accept the fact that she had been a bad person, a bad friend for Lena, and that she had been a terrible sister to Alex, making her have her memories erased. It was too much.

The second week without Lena was coming to an end, migrating to the third week in a row. Kara had just gotten out of the shower, wearing a set of pajamas, her hair moist. She sat on the couch, covered by her blanket, holding her cell phone, watching the last message she had sent to Lena a week ago, just informing her that she missed her and was sorry. She never received an answer. She then opened the photo she'd taken with Lena a few months ago, on a game night at Nia's apartment. They seemed so happy, as if nothing could stand between their friendship. God, Kara missed Lena, but she wouldn’t thwart Lena's desire, no matter how much it killed her inside.

Kara didn’t even have tears to cry anymore.

-

The second week without Kara came to an end and Lena was beginning to wonder if she had made the best decision by cutting Kara away from her life. Maybe it was exactly what Lex wanted her to do: to isolate herself and be alone, just as he had foreseen. She picked up her cell phone when she hung up her computer, ready to leave her office that late night. She paused again in Kara's message, admitting that she missed Lena and that she was sorry. She sighed and gave up on leaving the office, turning on the TV and sitting on the couch. In the news, images of Kara, Supergirl, trying to contain a fire, saving a child from the fire. It was like the old times, Supergirl came back to help the population with their problems, but something seemed wrong. Kara appeared to be tired, she was pale and her eyes no longer exhibited that energy that Lena had met in the eyes of Kara Danvers and Supergirl. 

"She's not doing well." The voice caught Lena by surprise, making her jump off the couch, turning to the door, startled. "I don’t know what Lex said when he exposed Kara to you..." Alex said, entering the office. "I imagine he was cruel to you, otherwise you wouldn’t be so shaken by it all. But you can’t let his lies push you away from those who care about you."

"You mean Kara and all of you who have lied to me for years?"

"Yes." Alex said, without hesitation. "Kara, the only person who blindly believed in you from the first day and I, who was on your side even when I didn’t remember Kara being Supergirl."

"What?" 

Alex frowned, surprised that Lena had questioned her.

"God, you had to let her at least explain..." Alex put her hand to her hair in exasperation. "J'onn partially wiped out my memory, making me forget that Kara and Supergirl were the same person. She had no choice but to accept, to protect me in the DEO. I've spent months without knowing, until the day before the final fight, at least."

Lena stared at Alex, astonished.

"She barely leaves the apartment, Lena. She barely eats..." Alex paced, clearly worried. "I don’t expect you to just forget about all this and forgive Kara. I know the truth has opened a wound you were trying to close, but this is consuming Kara. You need to put an end to it, for her sake and yours as well. I won’t hate you if you decide not to give Kara a chance, but please don’t hurt her anymore, don’t prolong the suffering of the two of you."

Alex turned and started walking toward the door.

"Alex, wait." Lena murmured, on the verge of collapsing. Alex stopped and looked at Lena. "What should I do? Lex still manages to manipulate me, I can’t help thinking that this is all a fucking joke with me, you all pretending to care for me and then, everyone blame me for being another Luthor..."

Alex sighed as she watched Lena sobbing and hurried to hug the younger woman.

"You're smart enough not to fall for his lies, Lena. You know deep inside that he is wrong. We all care about you."

Lena wept in Alex's arms for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry!" Lena said and Alex pulled away, staring at her.

"You don’t have to apologize to me." Alex said, again walking to the door. "And for the record... J'onn respects you, Nia and Brainy adore you and I care about you."

With a wink, Alex left the office and Lena was alone again, processing Alex's words.

-

Kara didn’t expect anyone. Alex had come to her apartment a few hours ago to see if she was still alive, leaving a bag with dinner, knowing that Kara would barely touch the food again. Kara wasn’t expecting anyone, so it was a surprise to hear a hesitant knock on her door. Using her x-ray vision, Kara nearly fell off the couch when she saw Lena on the other side of the door, carrying a bag with what looked like food. Kara could hear the beating of Lena's heart. She got up and opened the door hesitantly.

"Lena..." she murmured, full of emotion, happy to see Lena’s face, happy to see that she was all right, after all.

Lena was frightened to see the state Kara was in: pale face with dark circles under her eyes, the lack of life in the blue eyes Lena loved so much, the stance of defeat Kara carried, all left Lena in surprise.

"Kara..." Lena's voice faltered, forcing her to clear her throat and try again. "Kara, can I come in?" 

Kara blinked, stunned, soon recovering and opening the way for Lena to enter the apartment. "Of course, sorry." 

"I believe we need to talk." Lena said quietly, dropping the bag on the table, analyzing the mess of Kara's apartment.

"Oh..." Kara sat on the couch, hesitantly. "What you want to know? If you want, I'll tell you everything, Lena."

Lena sat down in a chair, facing Kara.

"I was so furious with the truth, Kara. This whole time, it was in front of me and I didn’t see it. Did not you trust me?"

Kara sighed.

"At first I barely knew you. But I knew you were not the monster everyone tried to make me believe. But it was too soon to tell. So we fought over Reign, and you hated Supergirl, quite rightly, I was unfair. So when I had decided to tell you, all the confusion about the amnesty law, the alien rights, and all the confusion with Lex began. One thing led to another and in the end it was too late.. Eve had shown her true face and you were feeling betrayed. How could I hurt you like that, Lena?" Kara looked at Lena. "I trust you with my whole life, Lena. I'm sorry I wasn’t a better friend to you."

Lena took a deep breath, trying to absorb Kara's racing words.

"Have you ever thought about how much worse it was to find out through Lex?" Lena asked, genuinely curious.

"Yes..." Kara admitted. "I knew I should tell you as soon as possible, but I was so afraid, Lena. All I wanted was to save you from more suffering, now I see that I made a mistake, I see that if I had told you before, maybe I wouldn’t lost you, now that I seemingly lost, it's too late..."

"I'm confused, Kara... And furious with so many things..." Lena sighed, tired. "But I don’t think I'm capable of cutting you out of my life." 

Kara seemed to sigh, relieved, as if the gleam in her eyes had just ascended again.

"But I still need to understand a few things, and I don’t trust you a hundred percent right now…”

"Whatever you need, Lena!" Kara adjusted her posture as a shy smile formed in the corner of her lips and her eyes shone with tears. "I'll do whatever you want, Lena."

Lena stood and held out her hand to Kara, who accepted it and was pulled into a hug.

"Just be patient and be honest with me, please."

Kara closed her eyes, surrendering to Lena's embrace, happy to receive one more chance, feeling the tears she had tried to contain, trickling down her face.

"Thank you, Lena."

As they moved away, Lena smiled, wiping the tears on Kara's face.

"Alex said you were not eating properly, so I brought our favorite and I'm not leaving until you're done." Lena pointed to the bags on the table, with the well-known Big Belly Burger logo. Kara laughed and accompanied Lena to the table, arranging space for them to eat.

Kara felt like a new person, grateful to get a second chance from Lena and happy to share everything with her, all her history and her knowledge hidden by the secret identity. 

"I'm curious about something..." Lena said a few minutes after the two of them sat down to eat. Kara looked up from her food and stared at Lena anxiously.

"Why do you care so much about me, of all people?"

Kara tensed with the question, surprised. 

"You were one of the few people I could be myself with..." The memory of her first friend in school passed through Kara's head. "Besides Alex, only one person allowed me to really be me, and he died still very young. I met Winn and James, and they were great friends, but you... The moment I met you, you allowed me to be just Kara. Not Supergirl, not even Kara Danvers… Just Kara."

Lena remained motionless, looking at Kara.

"And I see a lot of myself in you. I know how hard it is to be the outsider, and I just wish you'd never go through it, not while I'm alive. I..." Kara broke off, swallowing hard. "I love you."

Lena froze in surprise.

"I... I understand if this is too much for you and you need..." Kara tried to repair, desperate.

"It's okay, Kara." Lena reached out, holding Kara's hand on the table. "The feeling is reciprocal. Just..." Lena sighed, smiling then. "Just be patient with me."

Kara smiled, a little relieved. 

"I'll wait for you as long as you need. I'll always be here."

"Always? "Lena questioned hesitantly.

"Always." 


End file.
